Journal #2 (The theme, and Alex)

I chose to write my second post about Alex and the theme together, because I have found that you cannot talk about one, without the other.

In this book I see the theme of self-discovery emerging, revolving solely around the main character, Alex. The struggles he goes through and all of the situations he encounters reveal more about his personality to himself, and to me as the reader. Alex is in his 30s and is kind of lost. He has ideas and inklings of who he thinks he is and what he wants to do, but every time he tries he feels as though he isn’t good enough or that he should just quit, because what’s the point? Alex has a few major things going on in his scattered life. All of these separate plot lines intersect through the life of Alex. He has a could-be-but-is not family in Sweden, a crazy ex-girlfriend who he thinks he may still love and be destined for, a Doctor who he feels he has nothing to talk to about but he must see 3 times a week, a friend with M.S., who is in love with him and who he may also be in love with and a PhD that he wants to finish but doesn’t know why he started in the first place. All of these situations are ongoing in the novel, in past, present and future.

Alex knows that if he moves to Sweden to be with his child and the women of his dreams (Ingrid), it would be best. But should he leave? He may be in love with more than one woman in Montreal. The fact is Alex has yet to grow up even though he is thirty. He is afraid to commit so he creates situations in his mind to keep himself from doing just that. “Maybe I would be a horrible father” Alex says to himself at one point. This is something he subconsciously knows is untrue, but he creates this false sense of degrading security to stay put where he is, where he feels safe from making further mistakes, but perhaps his biggest mistake is not leaving. Alex needs a state of commitment, a woman who loves him and a child to look after.

Esther is a friend of Alex’s, with Multiple Sclerosis. Alex helps her every day, taking her to the gym to do her swimming with her, visiting at the hospital, and becoming close with her family. Esther talks about Alex constantly with her family. He thinks to himself, that he cannot love her because she has a disease. All Esther wants is for Alex to love her, literally and emotionally. Alex loves spending time with Esther, he loves caring for her. I think that is what Alex needs, someone to care for. This is what he finds in Esther, a seemingly independent woman while in public, but truly one who needs help around the clock, Alex likes to be that person.

I get a lot of insight into the character Alex through his meetings with Dr.Klein. A psychologist Alex sees on a weekly basis. Alex consciously avoids the most important situations when he has his sessions with the doctor. This tells me that Alex is severely insecure, or maybe he just feels he has no use in being there and it truly is none of his business because Alex clearly understands the meaning of his own convoluted life.

The thing that troubles Alex most in his life is what he claims to hold most dearly, his academia and his doctrine. Alex constantly questions himself in his academic validity; he will finish a thesis and then throw it out. He will think of an idea, not write it down, and curse himself later for not doing so. He procrastinates to an extent that makes me think, what is the point of doing this? Oddly enough, this is what he is passionate about. His ideas are intriguing, says his professor, but underdeveloped. Whenever something goes wrong in Alex’s life he turns to school. It is his anchor, his safe place. Whether or not he will continue with it I am unsure. It seems to be leading to the fact that he will finish his PhD and write a brilliant book.

I find this character so appealing because he represents the true normality and yet screwed up individual. To me he represents any person who has problems with where they want to go in life. Alex has trouble deciding what to do, where to go, and how he has to do it. He gets stressed out from work, he procrastinates and yet his life is not bad. He has women, a job, and a family. Alex goes through so much in the story that seems so unfair, so unjust. While reading you hope, that everything will work out for him. That his life will evolve into everything he wants it to be (which is a huge concept in the book, and a metaphor/allusion found within the title and subtle hints to Darwin within the book and the character of Alex). I predict that by the end of the book, Alex will begin to figure his life out, his proper direction and ultimately his final stage of evolution; in thought, emotions and maturity.

I would like to take one more paragraph to elaborate on a metaphor I briefly mentioned in the last paragraph. The title of the book “The Origin of Species” is in fact the title of the famous book written by Charles Darwin. The concept of evolution is brought out by that title and reference to Darwin in the book in regards to Alex’s character and his inevitable growth as a human being. I think this metaphor/allusion truly captures the theme of this book, the theme of self-discovery, or evolution of character.

I am currently entering a section in the book about Alex’s trip to the Galapagos when he was about twenty. I think that there will be a lot of questions answered, and new questions presented about the theme and of the character Alex. I look forward to reading it.